Friday, November 23, 2012

मेरी गर्लफ्रेंड को घुमाने कहा ले जाऊ?



जब सिंगल था तो सोचता था, प्यार व्यार बस बकवास;

लड़की वडकी, चक्कर शक्कर (no pun intended) या पेक्षा बरा अभ्यास!

पर उसकी सुन्दर आखों को देख कर, न रह पाया मै अकेला;

और बिना सोचे, बिना समझे, मोल ले लिया ये झमेला!

अब सोचता रहता हु रातोमे, जब भी मै वक़्त पाऊ;

मेरी गर्लफ्रेंड को घुमाने कहा ले जाऊ?



सीसीडी में rush है, चोकोलेट रूम में दोस्त;

University के फोटोस तो करता है हर कोई पोस्ट!

लेवल ९ पर तो मैंने ही, कई couples की उड़ाई थी;

चतुश्रुंगी में तो सुना है, पूरी क्लास नज़र आयी थी!

काफ्फी स्टॉप पर जाके क्या रिश्ते की नुमाइश कराऊ?

मेरी गर्लफ्रेंड को घुमाने अब जाऊ तो कहा जाऊ?



आ गया आखरी सेम, अब जुदाई की बारी है;

मै तो टेंशन नहीं लेता, बस उसीको हुई बीमारी है!

बात बात पर जाने का जीकर, करके मुझे सताती है;

“आता नाही भेटला, तर मग केव्हा भेटणार?” कह कर बड़ा भगाती है!



बस अब हर पल ये प्रार्थना करता हु, के मै जल्दी चैन पाऊ;

और अगर सुन ही रहा है तो ये भी बतादे भगवान,

मेरी गर्लफ्रेंड को घुमाने कहा ले जाऊ?

Thursday, June 24, 2010

A Crazy Dream...

Right from the childhood, I used to remember most of my dreams, almost vividly.

Earlier when I used to get frightened because of some crazy monsters (most of them already familiar, thanks to cartoons); I used to wake up with my heart pounding in my chest, not being able to comprehend that it was just a dream and not reality.

I told my mom about that and she said “tere sapneme koi tujhe darata hai aur tu dar jata hai! Sapna tera hai, to teri hi marji chalegi; usse control karna sikh!”

And from that day on, I tried the trick and after some failures, I could literally control my dreams! Some of them included me throwing the lions wandering in our yard, beating the hell out of long toothed monsters and flying around the town in search of any victim who needed my help (most of them, needless to say, pretty girls!).

But there were some of the dreams in which I didn’t change anything; it was like I was enjoying the creativity of my own brain. It was quite fun watching what wonders could a subconscious mind do. One of them:

I woke up with a start. It was quite late, I had to do things fast, after all, it was my WEDDING!

I got ready and saw that everyone was waiting for me. To add to my bewilderment, I realized it was a double wedding; my brother was tying the knot the same day!

When I came near the stage, I thought there was something wrong with the names. And then I got it.

My fiancée’s name was written with my brother and his fiancée’s with me!!!

First I thought it was some kind of a joke; but even when I reached the stage, nobody was uncomfortable; nobody even gestured to make any change!

I brought this to my brother’s notice, who now sat in his seat. And all he said was “rahool, i know you love to play pranks on me but this is not the right time!”

I was stunned! I called my mom and told her that I can’t marry a girl who should be marrying my brother. The confused expressions on her face said everything.

And when I talked to some of my friends, to my utter horror, I realized everybody has forgotten about me and my fiancée!!! And then a thought struck me “ya fir mai hi sab bhul gaya hu...”

I was on my way to shout out loud that I am not going to marry this girl when I realized “ITS A DREAM”!!!

And I decided to let things happen.

When the brides came in, I was really surprised to see that my brother’s fiancée was looking far more beautiful than mine and at that exact moment a wide grin spread across my face (some people could call it lusty too :P).

The next thing I remember is all four of us were shopping in some mall. The girls wore “mangalsutras”, clearly saying that we really got married.

While shopping, we went in the jewellery wing with the girls and from one end, out of nowhere; two big-black guys came with pistols! (I really don’t know what they were doing in Karanja!!)

I was petrified! And without even giving it a second thought, I and my brother ran for our lives LEAVING THE GIRLS THERE!

When we reached our home, short of breathe; the girls came in just a few minutes after.

From the look on their faces, even an idiot like my brother wouldn’t dare ask “are you ok?” They were really pissed off.

My wife slapped me hard in my face and so did my brother’s. I didn’t say a thing. ( I was happy enough for not being kicked hard in my balls!) Then they both said almost in unison that “you don’t deserve me”.

And before I could ask my dear wife how she escaped from the wing, BOTH OF THEM TURNED INTO ANACONDAS IN FRONT OF OUR EYES AND SLITHERED ALL THE WAY THROUGH THE HALL AND OUT OF SIGHT!!!

And I dropped to my knees and the words came out involuntarily “YUUUUCCKKKKKKK, I KISSED IT LAST NIGHT!!!”

Until that very moment I was feeling very unfortunate that I could not see my Wedding Night! No need to say I immediately thanked God for that!!

Saturday, May 1, 2010

who are you? -rahool! Then who am i???

rahool 1 : why are you watching that movie for the third time today??? x-(
rahool 2 : just this one, just my favorite scene, just a minute

rahool 1 : why are you checking mails again when you did it already just 9 minutes ago
rahool 2 : you never know when your fate takes a turn!!!

rahool 1 : continuously staring at that wall won't change its color! x-(
rahool 2 : what's your problem dude? i am just studying the pattern of the spots on it, it could be my B.Tech project you know...

rahool 1 : why are you sleeping again? you just woke up!
rahool 2: i just saw MMC question paper in my dream, i am going back to see the 5th question again... don't you care for my GPA???

rahool 1 : who do you think you are? Wolverine??? you have been cutting your nails for half an hour now! x-(
rahool 2 : what do you know about personal hygiene?

rahool 1 : you are not hungry, why are you going for breakfast then???
rahool 2 : i can't study like this, empty tummy distracts me from my study!

rahool 1 : you don't need to write this, idiot!
rahool 2 : just once, then i will study, promise!

RAHOOL 3 : just shut up both of you, somebody is trying to sleep here!!! x-(

rahool 2 : sorry dude, goody goody nighty. :-)
rahool 1 : good night man!
RAHOOL 3 : good night buddies, see you two at night breakfast!

is this all because of exam or i am really suffering from Multiple Personality Disorder??? ;-(